my posts have become less and less entertaining.

will write again come Burning man season.

Summary:
I got a back massage from a very stong 75 year old village woman.
I ate a mangosteen.
I played golf for the first time.

I miss toilets that flush. I miss them so badly.
I'm going to spend another night in shanghai and I will try to eat as much as possible.
I havent bought any souvenirs..yet.
I shoudl probably bring somehting nice back for my mother.

I want to party when I get back. There will be cool dance moves? Has anyone learned any dance moves? have either of the two people reading my blog learned any dances moves in the last week?

Interesting news Tom, turns out only gay men and the olsen twins like vespas.
( please help me buy girltalk tickets. oh lord i am begging you. you can have anything...anything...my first born.please oh lord i want to go to this concert.)

eliza and gui too. but we will figure that out later. Unless we never figure it out and regret it for the rest of our lives.

I missed sirenfest...MIA and We are scientists and Voxtrot. Fuck me and this fucking jungle shit.

i want to fly back and sleep in sophies mermaid hair.

I think the altitude here has gotten to my head.

I have picked up and std, an IUD, and a nasty heroin habit.
This is a cry for help.

shout outs:

maggie, chloe,and lily ( answer each others calls or one of you may die!)
I miss zakia and her svelte ass.
thiviya...nice knockers.
cool new pants yuriy
When does gabe get back?
Whats up emma? emma, you there?
whatcha reading susan?
You smell that Noah? I smell something..
someone tell Farah that when I get back we are going to queens and buying me an indian nose ring.

showering is overrated

so maybe shrooms are legal here but pot is not.
One of my father's friends came into the country with like 40 dollars worth of weed inside their boogey board and got 20 years in a balinese prison.

Went on a yacht yesterday called the Raja Laut which means " king of the seas."
The captain was french and spent the night talking about his encounter with somalian pirates.
They had bazookas and he had a machete and he got completely owned.

Indonesian pirates are suppose to be friendly

Pirate: argh gimme all your money !
captain: calm down Kutek...sit down have a glass of wine..
..................................................................................................
Pirate: alright alright... keep an eye on that foxy wife of yours.
Captain: you kow youre welcome here anytime Kutek...
Pirate: Bon voyage

type thing.

My stepmom is clearly an alcoholic
but who isnt here?
she also has a beer belly and boobs down to her feet.
amazing eyes though.
i'll give her that.

I'm a better mom than she is.
I don't know what this kid is going to do.
I lucked out with my mom.

He is really cute though..he's the blonde you see in my pictures. His name is Cabot and he is going to be 6 this year. He asked me at the restaurant last night if it was okay if he went to sleep.
He and his friends asked if i had a boyfriend
then they asked if I had any tattoos

Dad said that if he ever got a tatto it would be a submarine
becuase then he woudl always know when "things were going down."

so there is dwarf rising along in his car when there is an accident.
The dwarf egts out of his car and tells the other driver
" i am not happy."
The other driver says
" then which one are you?"


there is a shitload of help here like "staff" but seriosuly like 6 people running around sneaking up on me. the big boss pair are maddei and rearren
rearren just sounds like rear end.
no way of getting around it.

mmm there is also a dog from hell running around the house. MJ loves him but he is seriously just a huge mexican rat. smelly ass rag of a dog.
hes named peanut. gross.

i havent showered in 3 days.

long posting.

Alright, it isnt appendicitis and she insists its a muscle cramp but if it continues she wants me to gtet a sonogram in the states.
hmph.

Bali is beautiful, the house is right on the beach and I can hear the waves crashing. I am suppose to get a surf lesson friday morning before I leave. The country is very Hindu andyou cna find offerings and temples and such all over. Tomorrow we're going to stay up in the mountains in the north.

had breakfast on the beach this morning. So many good looking surfers. made me embarassed to eat. They are actually really cool.
Billabong is hosting an international competition on Echo beach which is 5 minutes away from us. The rip curl cup is also being held soon. the waves are monster.


This part of the summer is kite season and there are streamers all over town, in the rice paddies, on the beach. It is the beginning of harvest.

shrooms are legal here. nuff said.

My father has decided that as a graduation gift I can have friends over for a week here. alone. schwingza.
I figure a shitload of us like roadtrip across the states in a couple vans. Then when we get to like L.A. a smaller group of us can ffly direct to Bali. the other half of us I probably don't care so much about.

The house can easily accomodate 6-7
and can sort of handle 20
sleeping on the couch is seriously not so bad.
shrooms are fucking legal!

christ!

All of my dads and MJs friends love me. I'm popular. yeah you heard me. yeah.

getting my chinese visa together for my flight back. real pain in the ass. by the time I arrive back home i'll have been on, in total, 8 flights.

ny-chicago-shanghai-hk-depasar and back. I'll fly direct next time.

making a stop in australia sounds good.
then to like the easter islands....galapagos...chile...brazil...cuba...

i want to go to rio de janeiro. old men die and young men cry. hell yes.

forget eurotripping unless it is like eastern europe. overdone.
so many of the wrong people choose to travel to western europe.

wouldn't mind being in a russian vodka bar with a fur coat on in paris. eliza and lily are having fun i am sure.

also. forget travel unless it is with my pals. i miss everyone.

especially joe. he is one funny bitch.

i miss you all.

i am also missing tom parties.
everyday is a party.
cheers.

Diagnosis...

For starters I have recently disgnosed myself with appendicitis and I am going to a doctor this morning to have tests done to check. If i'm correct they will have to operate. It is very scary.

About yesterday

good brunch

The guy Mj waned me to hook up with was yucky
there were two guys from the netherlands that were completely hot.
Vincent who was witty and Xander who was like max slechinger but sexy and smooth and not smelly.
They had a pal valyerio from italy who was really hilarious. We were playing bullshit and it was his first time. He was like
" oh dont have"

also met a girl named mischa...half thai but is living in uganda, Very interational.



Havent read harrry potter yet. couldnt really give a shit. I'll have emma send me a synopsis.

BALI

SOOO BEAUTIFUL

I lvoe it here. I went out last night to a cocktail party and today there is going to be a brunch with a load of teenagers. Went swimming this morning. So beautiful. Amazing. Ugh.